


Night Snack

by MademoiselleSo



Category: BIGBANG - Fandom
Genre: M/M, topri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:06:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22081534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MademoiselleSo/pseuds/MademoiselleSo
Summary: Seunghyun and Seungri enter a special relationship where both discover themselves.
Relationships: Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P./Lee Seunghyun | Seungri
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Night Snack

CHAPTER 1

*****

Seunghyun was spacing out, smoking on the balcony and looking at one of his painting by the window, on one of Jonas Wood on the wall. Even if it was the middle of the night, he still could see the vivid colors. He was not able to sleep at all…again. Insomnia being his worst/best buddy over the years, doing his job. Seunghyun had his mind full again of thoughts…he was overthinking, like usual. It’s true, that he had, a lot in his mind these days. He was thinking of a comeback, pleasing his fans with new contents…it’s been since the release of Flower Road, VIPs didn’t hear his voice. He was recording, producing and rapping for many weeks now, working on every little detail to make it at his taste. All his released solo songs were always mixed with BIGBANG…Seunghyun doesn’t have a solo album yet at his name. So, it was challenging. He was really alone on this. He had many advices from the other members to help him. Jiyong have tried his best to giving him, all the important points while he was busy with military. So, Seunghyun got few phone calls and texts from him. Daesung did the same but couldn’t give much help on the Korean side since he was solo only in Japan. YoungBae texted him, mostly, to give encouragements and making sure Seunghyun was really well, mentally for this. And always saying to Seunghyun, to send him messages if he needed to vent for whatever reasons. And for Seungri…it was not that easy with him. The younger man has shut himself when it came about solos. Seungri was open to listen to the soundtracks but didn’t give much feedback, just saying it sounded perfectly like Seunghyun. The older man was struggling with Seungri when it was time to have discussion about music, acting…and BIGBANG. Seungri was in fact, avoiding these subjects at all cost. The younger man was struggling with his scandals since the beginning of the year, and tried to stay away from work, especially what’s around BIGBANG. The members were also struggling with the fact that Seungri left the group. Even if it was, to properly and legally take care of his case, independently without troubling the agency and the group. Seunghyun and the others knew Seungri’s decision wasn’t just because of his scandals…the younger man have shown distance with the group. It was not because, he was no more interested in music, dancing and performing on stage. It was his low self-esteem. Seungri have always felt inferior to the others with time. The younger man is thinking the group can easily keep being on top without him, that his absence won’t make any difference…more, that people won’t notice his absence at all. Which Seunghyun and the others, disagree in totality. It was difficult for them to watch Seungri, going further down in his insecurities. Jiyong is feeling guilty to have let Seungri plunge like this. That he failed as a leader, to not realize how much Seungri can go deep in his emotions/feelings. Seunghyun feels guilty too, somehow, because GD is concerned over the older since debut. The leader has been looking out to the oldest, more intensively than the others since Seunghyun is extremely sensible and is dealing with dark thoughts at times. Daesung got added, when he got his car accident, but Daesung was doing much better and have found peace with himself over the years, but Jiyong was still watching him, in case. And for Youngbae, the leader was really close to him, real brothers since childhood, so everything Taeyang was thinking or doing, it was really important for GD. But with Seungri, since he was confident, energetic and usually always happy, Jiyong felt there shouldn’t be worries…so he told Seungri to never be depressed, that he couldn’t take another member being sad and take care of it…Now, GD was regretting saying those words. The younger man has registered Jiyong’s words at heart…and instead of talking of how he is feeling, Seungri just take everything inside and is staying silent or fake smile when people ask him if he is okay. Not wanting to be a burden to anyone. Seunghyun got mad at Jiyong for this. Telling him that the Maknae is also human and have the right to be down. That is was unfair for Seungri. The younger man was always the one, to cheer up the other members when a negative article or scandal came out. Seungri was there to listen to Daesung, was there to accompany GD, was there for Youngbae and was there for Seunghyun, even if Seungri was at the other end of the world, night or day. So why the Maknae shouldn’t receive the same treatment? The older man had given an earful on his leader for this. And Jiyong took the earful, completely agreeing with Seunghyun. That the leader needs to apologize for his careless words. GD promised to properly take care of Seungri, in person after his discharge because Seungri didn’t seem to enlist soon, so far. It’s another subject that was difficult to talk with the young man. Seungri was finally ready for military and discover this world, eyes and mind, completely curious. Ready to learn new things and work hard for his new assigned tasks. But days and months have passed since the postponement of his official enlisting date…and Seungri was less enthusiastic about it. Seunghyun didn’t knew much how to handle the whole situation around Seungri. It’s true, having many different businesses can bring problems, but the older man didn’t expect Burning Sun to be a complete chaos. It’s true, Seunghyun have warned Seungri, on who, he is doing business with but never he would tell Seungri, on what and what not to do. The younger man was always interested in entrepreneurship and managing. So, no one had the right to prevent him, to do business because he was an Idol. Seungri have his own personal life and friends outside of BIGBANG. Same goes for the others…Jiyong have Peaceminusone and other businesses as well. Taeyang and Daesung are owning buildings and Seunghyun was active in the Art world, by participating in auction and helping artists to be recognized. But public was only against Seungri on doing business…it was again, unfair for him. Calling Seungri greedy and selfish was difficult to take. Yes, the younger man was making money and taking risk, by investing it and taking more interest in stock exchange, but it was exaggerating to call him greedy in complete avarice. But the damage was done, on this new reputation since Seunghyun made a remark on a variety show…it took another level when the fandom was now pointing fingers at him and turning their back on Seungri…creating critics and defamations on Internet. And worse, making rumors that the members always hated Seungri… that one, was a knife in the heart. The members never imagined the negativity will go that high. But Seungri, as expected, took it all in silence. And saying he was okay. Seunghyun thought the younger man would break, the moment he got attached to the Kakaotalk chats. The insults and names, towards Seungri was two times more painful. Media played with the public, without letting Seungri to explain his side. But it was too late, words like rapist got attached to his name…Seunghyun is in complete madness every time he sees these words appearing on Social Media, and on his personal IG. Public doesn’t know the real truth and story about those Kakaotalks and the involvement of the ones who appeared in these different chats. But Media told another story and edited everything like it was a script for a drama or a variety show. Seungri tried to fight back once…but learned it was bound to fail, since Media was one-sided. The maknae took advice from others that silence was gold and Seungri was succeeding on this…the talkative, extroverted and blunt Lee Seunghyun was now, isolated, quiet and distant. Shutting himself. But he was still standing and fighting this unending mess. No one can’t deny his strong will and courage, braving everyone head up. He was still the great Seungri and strong baby, in the end. He was just having the biggest hardship of his life, and it was normal to have shaken emotions through it. 

Seunghyun finished his cigarette, entered his house and was about to head to his bedroom when he heard some noises coming from the kitchen. He looked at the hour, on his phone and realized it was soon the morning hours, it was still pitch-black outside, but the sun will be out soon. TOP slowly and silently head to the kitchen, almost hiding himself to peak in the room where the noises came from. No lights were on, just the moon illuminating the place through the big windows. Seunghyun could see the silhouette behind the central countertop. A person, digging a spoon in a Halo Top Birthday Cake ice cream. His favorite one. It was now tempting to do the same. Seunghyun looked attentively to the silhouette. A simple tee with a bathrobe on, and he was wondering what was hidden behind the counter, pyjama pants or briefs?…but whatever bottom was on, it was appetizing for sure. Seunghyun smiled fondly when he saw the chubby little hands holding the spoon and ice cream cup. And finally, his eyes met the others pair of eyes, and the other person finally sensed Seunghyun’s presence. TOP snorted seeing the big dark circles on his face that the moonlight made more evident. But felt sad, at the same time, to see those, more pro-eminent, sign that the owner of those dark circles was struggling with something and it was taking all his energy. Seunghyun slowly approached the other person and leaned his hip against the counter.

\- Can’t sleep?

The other person stopped scooping the ice cream and deposed the pot on the surface of the counter and sighed. Seunghyun could see the other man was struggling to let out words, or what he was feeling.

\- Seungri-ah…still a lot on your mind, huh?

Seungri was acquiescing by moving his head, a little. And Seunghyun could see on the younger man’s side Seungri clenching his bathrobe with his thumb, a sign of nervousness and fear. Seunghyun put his arms around Seungri’s shoulders and snuggled up against the Maknae.

\- Did your lawyer said something?

\- Yeah…there was talk of another summon but he think Police will try a new route instead in their investigation. Doing more research in my accounts, people I was with in Vegas…trying to find every possible receipt…

\- I see…

\- Seungri…about Vegas…

\- I don’t want to talk about it…please…

Seunghyun, again, accepted that the conversation about his allegations was done. Seungri was keeping everything inside, once again. So instead to try to dig, it was better to change Seungri’s mind. And Seunghyun knew what to do.

\- Are you done with MY ice cream?

Seunghyun looked at him, intensely. Trying to lock eyes together, using a deep, husky and a little intimidating voice. The moment Seungri was caught into the gaze, the younger man stopped the nervous gesture of his thumb. And at this moment, both could feel a heat coming in between their two bodies. And finally, Seungri’s mood is changing for a new one. The Maknae shifted his position and stood himself completely in front of the rapper. Seungri circled his arms around Seunghyun’s waist, still looking into his eyes. The younger man bitted his lips before saying,

\- I am still a little hungry…what about you?

Seunghyun smiled, making his gaze, more intense. He slowly approached Seungri’s ear, almost touching it with his lips.

\- I think, it’s a good time, for a snack.

*****

Seunghyun and Seungri’s story didn’t begun long ago. It was, in fact recent. It slowly begun after TOP’s was working at Yongsang Craft Museum and Seungri was preparing for his solo album, after GD, YoungBae and DaeSung went to the army. Both were able to see each other and calling, texting at whenever time of the day. Even with Seunghyun’s probation and military duty, he was the only one among the four into service to have free movements. So, time to time, they saw each other going to restaurants. And slowly, being more talkative. Its true, with the years, a certain distance was created, not because they were uncomfortable with each other, but because they have different life and personality, and doesn’t always matched. There was nothing negative about it, they were accepting each other like this, completely open-minded. Sometimes, it was just not easy to find a common subject of conversation they were totally passionate on. But both, enjoyed the diversity and learning new things to each other. More, they met, more they discover new things or secrets, they didn’t know at all, or found, after all those years of BIGBANG. But both Seunghyuns, didn’t thought their relations will take a new turn, after a night of drinking.  
Seunghyun texted him, to come over to his house, to a late snack and drinks time. Seungri came back from DJing in another country and Seunghyun was finally able to see him, since the younger was extremely busy. Seungri accepted the invitation quickly. Because the Maknae could see, if the older was still doing fine by seeing him in person. Seungri presented himself, snacks in bag at Seunghyun’s door. The rapper led him to one of his space, with a couch and different designed chairs. Seunghyun had already begun drinking since dinner but was not in a state of drunkenness yet. Music was playing in the background, some soulful jazz, setting a calm mood for both Seunghyuns. They were sitting, sipping wine or soju, talking about their workdays and some usual subjects like trending beats and music and what are doing the other members in the army. Time passing, it was very late. Both were looking outside, at the big windows, with the view of the highway and Han river. They were tipsy, and this is where they always ended up talking more deeply and be secretive. And Seunghyun got curious on a subject, about Seungri’s private life.

\- When you are abroad…do you…have one-night stand after a DJ night?

\- Even if I love the idea of one-night stand…I clearly can’t do it. Too much eyes on me…so many gorgeous people in the clubs…dang…I wish…

\- *snorted* Not surprised from you.

\- Yahh…don’t make yourself an angel…you are totally looking too when you go out. 

\- But I don’t touch either. Huhhh…I don’t even remember the last time I got laid geez…

\- You are not alone Hyung…not alone on this…Fuck…being a celebrity can be great but can be a curse too! Just taking a picture with a fan, you can end in a dating scandal…except with men…this is where I should’ve did sleep with th-…

Seungri stopped on his track. Seunghyun looked at him, asking himself some questions now. But he got more curious on the younger man.

\- Were you about to say…you wanted to sleep with…a man?

Seungri blinked, like his usual habit while he is looking at anything on the Highway below. He wasn’t sure if he should answer Seunghyun about this. He can’t believe he slipped up such thing. Even if they know each other for long. All of them, have a secret garden. Things they don’t want to be revealed. Maybe it’s the fact, that both Seunghyuns have been seeing more each other and talk more about deep feelings, that Seungri was about to reveal some deep secrets. The Maknae know Seunghyun is someone who love secrets but know how to keep them too. Maybe, on his circle of friends, Seunghyun was the right person to talk about this. The older man was an open-minded person and he’s friends with many kinds of people too, that Seungri could probably relate to. Maybe after 12 years…it was time to reveal an important thing, about himself.

\- Hyung…

\- Hm?

\- Can you keep this…for yourself?

\- You can tell me anything Seunghyun-ah…you know it. I learn to not keep everything inside, you should too. We both deal badly with our emotions and thoughts. I won’t judge…

\- I know…you are not the type to make fun of someone when its serious. And you know to keep deep secrets too, you are the best on this among us. Maybe I can tell you…

Seunghyun patted Seungri’s hair. To make him feel comfortable and reassured. Seunghyun was also happy, that both can deepen their relationship that got slowly distanced with the years after leaving the dorms and do other things than BIGBANG.

\- Seunghyun Hyung. I…I’m…

Seungri was having a hard time, to get out the word. It was a struggle after all in the society he was born. It’s something he tried to avoid to himself, and not accepting it. So, he played everyone…and mostly himself. All these years, hiding this important part of him. But recently…going into many countries and clubbing, seeing people being open about themselves publicly…the temptation to let go was getting bigger. And the first thing to do, is the realisation of it and accepting it. Being completely honest and confident. Something you can’t hide forever. Seungri clenched his fists,

\- I am bisexual.

Seunghyun looked at him and accepted the confession with a little smile. He tapped Seungri’s left shoulder,

\- I don’t know what to really say…

\- If it really makes you uncomfortable…I will leave. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you. I’m…I’m sorry…maybe it would be better to forget this conversation…

Seungri was now stressing and was about to take his jacket and leave the house. Seunghyun panicked seeing the younger man, preparing to flee.

\- No no! Seungri-ah…don’t leave. Please stay. Don’t leave like that. In fact, I am happy you told me this and happy, you trust this to me. I am…yeah…a little shook by this confession…we know each other for so long…and I didn’t even knew this…

\- Its not your fault. I didn’t wanted to accept this identity in the first place when we were trainees. So, I brushed off all thoughts I had about boys every time it come up in my head, blaming stupid youth hormones. And thinking it will finally passed…but yeah…I was fooling myself and was ashamed of me to be this way. Even if we were all together in the dorm…I didn’t wanted to make all of you uncomfortable if one of you, discovered or guessed it. So, I just hide everything and somehow…I am glad I did succeed on hiding after all those years…but now…I don’t know…urgh

\- Put down your jacket…let’s talk…

\- I don’t know…Hyung…I don’t want us…to feel awkward now…

\- Please.

Seunghyun gestured the chairs and invited Seungri to sit down. The younger man battled himself if he should or not. But finally accepted to talk with the older man. Both faced each other, Seunghyun drinking his wine, and Seungri looking at the floor.  
Some minutes were passing, and it was complete silence. Not knowing how to discuss this delicate subject. But Seunghyun was curious and wanted to know more about it.

\- So…from what I understood, you never got close intimately with a man?

\- Yeah…I never dated or…even flirted with one, all those years.

\- But…you are 100% sure, you are bisexual?

\- Yes, Hyung…I am attracted to guys. My body do react. I wished I could go on dates, hold hands, snuggle and…you know…with a man.

\- Wow…I…but…did you ever, wanted to try…on one?

\- Almost…one time, when I was DJing in Thailand. Those boys that look like women…I thought that if I was ever caught on camera, it will look like I was with a woman…but I choked and never did that plan.

\- Woah…using a Kathoey…

\- I know…it was a stupid idea…

\- No! No…it’s genius…you thought of a prudent plan. And…uhm…and, in all those 12 years…you…

\- If you are thinking about one of you, in the group. No, I never had thoughts to be intimately close or had dreams with another members. I didn’t had fantasies in my head with all of you…so don’t worry. The compliments that I have said, were not with a romantic tone.

\- Huh…okay…but, did you ever fell in love with a guy, and someone, we know?

\- Yes…I did…but I won’t tell his name. It was a short crush anyway, not worth the interest.

Seunghyun smiled at him. Happy to have this conversation with his dongsaeng. It made him feel closer and knowing something the others don’t. Both chatted for another hour till Seungri felt sleepy and it was time for him, to head home. Seunghyun called his private driver, to pick up Seungri, and told the Maknae to pick up his car, another time. Both hugged each other and Seunghyun saw Seungri leaving his Villa, in the black car.

*****

Seunghyun didn’t see much Seungri after that. The younger man was busy recording music and filming for the Netflix YG show. And on top of that, Seungri was busy being there for the fans, by doing lives, sometimes, doing mukbang and DJing at some clubs and be there for his DJ juniors. Seunghyun was also busy with his days at the museum, trying to be incognito, but fans still camped outside to see him taking care of the trashes. Seungri texted him, he had finally the date for his solo album release. Seunghyun was so proud of him. It was the second solo album for the Maknae and fans were excited since they did asked Seungri for another solo album. TOP was happy for him but was feeling, a little jealous too. With his recent drug scandal…he lost the public appreciation and knew, it will be more difficult for him, in the future. Even if Seunghyun was seeing his friends regularly…he was missing his little dongsaeng. He wished he could have more time with Seungri. One day, Seungri finally called him, that he wanted to have a drinking night again with him, because he needed it. Seungri was so busy and stressed that he wanted to relax with his big Hyung, in his Villa. Seunghyun gladly welcomed him to change his mind. TOP will never say no to a drinking night. Seungri pointed himself, with snacks in hand again. Seunghyun decided it will be Sake and Soju for the night. Leaving the wine for another time. Both enjoyed the young evening with conversations about Seungri’s solo or news from the other members in the army.  
They were laughing a lot, joking around and being silly. They were drunk, Seunghyun could barely walk properly and Seungri was dancing in almost every movements he made. Seunghyun was looking at him, finding him so cute. Seungri always have been cute, even if for a time, the younger man hated it and wanted to look more manly to public but Seungri finally realized he really preferred the cute look and embraced it ever since. Seunghyun do find him handsome, not as much as him, Seunghyun will always find himself gorgeous, but little Seunghyun do have gorgeous charms and features and cameras never did him justice. The older man was smiling fondly, looking at his dongsaeng and approached him. Seungri looked at him and smiled, because this kind of attention always please him. Seunghyun put his body against Seungri, leaning on him. Seungri could feel TOP’s breath against his neck. Seunghyun was snorting and smiling against his shoulder.

\- You…so…cute!

\- Ngahhh…me cute…really cute…

Seunghyun laughed even more and swift his head, to put his eyes on his Maknae. He approached his lips and kissed Seungri’s cheek. The maknae laughed at the gesture and Seungri hugged their bodies more closely and begun a slow dance movement. Seunghyun giggled and followed Seungri’s movement. How can you not love him? So adorable, so funny, so caring and affectionate. But when it comes to affection, Seunghyun is the one to always show it. Especially during an inebriety state. Both men were dancing slowly, completely glued to each other, doesn’t even minding what was the song in the background. Seunghyun, with one hand, cupped one side of Seungri’s face and kissed the other side. Seungri closed his eyes, the feeling was so good. Seunghyun could feel the younger man relaxing and accepting the gesture openly. The older man wanted to venture more and planted kisses slowly toward the jawline and by little step, going down in the neck. Seungri tilted his head to let Seunghyun have better access. The younger man squeezed Seunghyun’s shoulders. The rapper got an electric sensation through his entire body the moment Seungri’s reacted and Seunghyun did find it, agreeably pleasuring. This is where, the older man wanted more and was ready to go further in his exploration, because Seunghyun was always curious on intimacy with a man. If he would really like it or not. Seunghyun was still exploring his sexuality and was bicurious at times, in his life. He was never sure if he really did have an attraction towards the same gender. Ever since Seungri’s sexuality confession, Seunghyun was asking himself a lot of questions and the curiosity grew bigger. But never he thought, he will explore this with the Maknae. They’ve known each other for years and are practically brothers. But the curiosity was strong.  
Seunghyun stopped kissing the neck and with his hand on Seungri’s face, he tilted the younger man’s face toward him and without hesitation, kissed Seungri on the lips. The maknae squeezed even more the fabric of TOP’s shirt and let out a satisfied breath from his nose. To this pleasing reaction, Seunghyun kissed him more intensely, and slowly opening Seungri’s lips with his. The kiss grew deeper and got more languorous. When Seungri placed a hand behind the older man’s neck, Seunghyun muffled a moan and it’s when with Seunghyun’s other hand on Seungri’s low back, he tried to make their bodies even more close, and it made Seungri snapped back to reality. He opened his eyes in shock and pushed himself out of their intimate situation. By this sudden reaction, Seungri and Seunghyun sobered up. Seungri looked at him in complete disbelief.

\- What…How…what is this Hyung?...

\- Seungri-ah…I…I don’t really know, what to say…

\- I know your habits when you are drunk…but you never crossed that line…Why did you do this?...especially knowing my situation!

Seungri was slowly getting angry. Seungri didn’t understand how it got there. 

\- I am going home, now. I don’t know how to proceed this, and my mind is not clear enough to think about what happened and why it happened. Let’s talk another day, if you don’t mind.

Seungri took his things and left Seunghyun’s house. The older man was still standing there between his dining room and living room, trying to know what emotions he is going through in this instant. He closed his eyes, let out a long breath while his hands were rubbing the skin of his face. In what kind of situation, they were in now…  
TOP didn’t heard of the Maknae for the next days…and he wanted to talk with him before the younger man will disappear into his solo and packed schedule. He texted him that he wanted to have a serious conversation with him. Seungri texted him back, that he was busy, but he had some time between a reunion at Yuri Buildings and a DJ night. So, he was only able to talk during a quick dinner. Seunghyun was able to have a meal with him after his work at the museum. Both accepted to see each other.  
They met in a quiet restaurant, reserved a private room for both only, letting their bodyguards outside. Both, were sitting, facing each other. They were silent till their food was finally served. Seungri begun to eat quickly, and it made Seunghyun smiled. The maknae really enjoyed food, probably more than him. Seunghyun love food too, but like the aesthetic of it. Seungri don’t always take pictures of his plates, he preferred to dig in and enjoyed the taste. Seunghyun didn’t care much of the gain weight on Seungri. Seungri is cute like this.

\- Is it good?

\- Hm…yeah…it’s tasty. You should eat too, Hyung…

\- You are cute.

Seungri stopped munching and looked up at Seunghyun. The air got awkward and both didn’t know what to say. Seunghyun knew he had to dive onto the reason they are meeting.

\- Seungri-ah…I…for the other day…I…

\- That’s fine Hyung…we were drunk, and you have that habit to kiss others…I jumped angrily too quickly…I’m sorry.

\- Hm…yeah, it’s true, I got surprised by your reaction…but it’s my fault, after all…and you must know, I didn’t play with you, because of your bisexuality.

\- I am not mad at you. You don’t need to feel guilty or giving me an explanation. 

\- Yes, Seunghyun-ah, I have to.

Seungri put down his chopstick on the table at the mention of his real name. Seungri knew that Seunghyun wanted to be serious and be deeper on this conversation. He looked up at the rapper and let him talk.

\- I know that I just said, I didn’t play with your bisexuality but at the same time, yes, I did. I took advantage of it because…I am curious. I am still trying to figure out my own sexuality. And that night, looking at you, finding you so cute and our bodies against each other…it got me and wanted to know…I wanted to feel how it’s like to be intimate with the same gender and if I will really like it…

\- You…are serious? I mean, I know you like to prank and play with guys, you have no shame on touching and hugging, and kissing when drunk…that, yeah…many asked themselves your real attraction but with years, we thought it was just who you are, just joking around but officially straight.

\- That’s what I thought about you too! Always watching hetero porn, being around women!

\- True…but you are still not sure?

\- I feel like, I just don’t mind the gender. I will love the person, whoever they are.

\- Oh…

\- I don’t know if its because I am sensible on emotions…but I love more the soul than the shell.

\- Well…I have seen you, talking more with your inner emotions and taking time knowing people you meet. And you always said, you love all the members because we have different personalities and it’s interesting…even on a show, you said, you would date each of us…it makes sense…somehow. Does that mean, you find me…somewhat attractive?

\- Yeah…

\- I thought I was more annoying, a pain in the ass and an embarrassment for you…since we got less close over the years.

\- Lee Seunghyun! How can you say that?! That’s not true. Why are you saying this...Seungri, look at me.

Seungri looked into the eyes of the older man.

\- I don’t hate you. I love you. You are an amazing person. You have your own qualities and defaults. Yes, you can get on my nerves sometimes and we don’t always think the same way, but you are important. I am sorry if I did or say something to make you feel this way…

\- Don’t feel sorry Hyung…a big part, I am the one to blame. 

Seunghyun didn’t like to hear this from Seungri. He was so used to confident, prideful Seungri…not to a doubting, low self-esteem Seungri. The rapper begun to feel guilty, because, yes, he was probably someone to blame, not to a big extent, but he did damages to the younger man over the years. Like Youngbae said, their teasing sometimes goes too far and looks more like bullying. And he did make jokes that shouldn’t have been said or done. And he is realizing now, that Seungri have reached a limit with all the teasing and it’s affecting the way he is seeing himself. Seunghyun was not very much proud of himself now. But one thing was pleasing him, that Seungri have confessed a secret only to him and was glad he did the same back. And it’s with this, that Seunghyun decided to take a new road with Seungri, to know each other much better.

\- Can we try, to get to know more of each other? Trying to be closer?

\- What do you mean? 

\- I am realizing that I hurt you and I am not proud of it. I don’t want us to be more distant in the future. We have reached a moment of awkwardness now and we should put a stop to it. I want us to be able to joke together, know our true feelings and see each other more often. You are my brother, but we should be best friends too. Not brothers-colleagues type.

\- Oh…hm…yeah…I do agree. We should try to stop distancing from each other. What more should we do?

\- Let’s keep having some evenings together, be drinking buddies often, not occasionally. We should text more. You will probably tour soon, so let’s find time to video called too.

\- I am already busy and with my solo coming out, my schedule is packed…but I will try to find time for you. Since the others are in the army, for sure, there will be moments between my tight schedule, I will be able to think about you.

\- Oh! Only me. Maknae is now completely mine. Jiyong will not be happy about this.

Both laughed and enjoyed the rest of their meal, more relaxed. They promised each other to spend more time, thinking about them. Few days after, Seungri released his two songs, with 1,2,3 as the title track. TOP was enjoying the comments under the videos and was happy to see the fans being excited about his solo and a content from «BIGBANG». Since he got himself in a scandal, the members have been keeping low profile with public and fans got barely something to talk about. VIPs were now all satisfied with Seungri still being there to interact and offer something to them. His album The Great Seungri was enjoyable. Sounded like Seungri, trending beats with his sweet voice, giving a good vibe and somewhat feeling snippets of Seungri’s real person. The name of the album was totally «Seungri style» but not Lee Seunghyun. But public know more about this persona than the real one. Seunghyun finished listening to the new album and have loved some lyrics he heard. He did have a liking for Alone. The rapper had finish cleaning the dishes and took his cellphone.

[7.09pm]’’It’s great!. Congrats Maknae’’  
[7.12pm]’’ ^^ Thanks Hyung’’  
[7.15pm]’’How did you come up with Alone?’’  
[7.16pm]’’I thought of Bigbang’’  
[7.16pm]’’Wait what?!?...bitch, that’s too romantic…except if you are telling me you are confessing Nyongtory is really real and you didn’t tell us about your relationship all these years with Jiyong’’  
[7.17pm]’’Too romantic… -_-…does it really sound like a song for GD Hyung?’’  
[7.18pm]’’Without you I don’t know how to be alone, eating, sleeping or even dressing up, everything is painted with white paint in my head, I feel like dying…It does sound you are calling Ji’’  
[7.21pm]’’I am talking about everyone. I don’t know how to dress up or what to really eat…this is why I like touring with Bigbang. I follow the leads of everyone. I like when we discuss where and what to eat with all of you’’  
[7.23pm]’’I see. But still too romantic…since when we sleep with you, at your place huh? Your lyrics: Has the bed in MY house always been this wide?...and after, singing this: I can’t feel you, that warm temperature is enveloping me coldly…tss…the only person I know that can do that is Jiyong…did he come to your house and sleep with you?’’  
[7.25pm]’’It happens. Not often. But we did have sleepovers. Hanging at my place, eating, drinking and watching a movie on my laptop, in my bed. But NOTHING romantic’’  
[7.26pm]’’Sleepover?’’  
[7.26pm]’’Yes. We still enjoy watching TV scotch to each other after all those years’’

Seunghyun didn’t how to feel about this. He didn’t expect the two of them to keep doing that kind of stuff after 12 years. It just shows how close they are…really close indeed. The kind he doesn’t have with Seungri. He thought a little while reading over and over the word «sleepover». Maybe they should do that too. It’s not like he never received anyone at his house. Plenty of friends have slept on his couch…but not Seungri.

[7.36pm]’’Should we do sleepovers together?’’  
[7.38pm]’’Hum…would you really like that?...Me, coming over to your house and sleep over?’’  
[7.39pm]’’Yeah, why not’’  
[7.41pm]’’A part of me is happy and the other is doubtful. But we decided to get closer. So, okay. Let’s try this’’  
[7.45pm]’’If there is a weekend you are available, tell me. I know you are extremely busy, but we can surely find a time’’  
[7.46pm]’’Will be back at you with that for sure. But will it be really okay with you? I don’t want to cause trouble’’  
[7.49pm]’’I am really happy with the idea. My therapist said to open myself more and do things with my entourage that I didn’t do before. It will help me heal and help me in my relationship with you’’  
[7.51pm]’’Okay Hyung, Let’s do this. It will be a pleasure to spend a night with you’’  
[7.51pm]’’Spend a night with you? again, you sound too romantic hehe’’  
[7.52pm]’’Hyung! STOP IT è_é’’  
[7.52pm]’’Okay, sorry T.T’’

Seungri texted him the next day that he will begin his concerts soon, so he wasn’t sure if he will be able to do a sleepover soon. Seunghyun have replied him, it was fine and understood the situation. The rapper was sensing that Seungri is pressuring himself to do one quickly. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought up the therapist advice. He knew Seungri would want to help and be there for him, for anything. The young man was a really caring person after all. Seunghyun was secretive when it comes to his therapy. He accepted to do it after his hospitalization. He did receive good advices and is using them. His relationship with his personal friends has been way better than before and Seunghyun is slowly feeling more happier, proud and confident about himself. It took time but he’s finally battling his demons with more braveness, by adding positivism in his life. It’s hard work but he is slowly seeing it’s worth it. He knows he can’t defeat these inner dark demons, but he knows more how to deal and ‘’cohabitate’’ with them. He needs them to live, that’s how he can learn about himself. Seunghyun is thankful to everyone that are helping him through this hardship, and he is trying to give it back as much as possible when he can. Seunghyun texted Seungri, that he was thankful of him to be concerned and wanting to find an available time for him, but there was no rush and the rapper wanted Seungri to not feel stressed more than he already is because of his solo. Seungri replied with many apologies and that he will try his best.

Seungri texted him from Daegu, saying he will be back in Seoul after his concert in Busan and he was available at the end of August for a sleepover weekend. Seungri was wishing they could have done it for the anniversary of Bigbang but his concert was exactly on the 19th and the others was not able to take a day off to celebrate with the two Seunghyuns. Sadly, there will be no festivities for them in 2018. The five of them were sad but they couldn’t do much about it. Seunghyun had the day off on their anniversary since it was Sunday. He decided to send long messages to the other members. They all replied back at him, emotional and thankful for Seunghyun, to do some ‘’celebration’’. The evening was ending soon, and Seunghyun was ready to head to his bathroom to take a shower but the doorbell rang. Seunghyun headed to his entrance, surprised to have a someone at this hour. He peaked in the camera system and saw Seungri in dark sweat pants and a TGS shirt, but with stage makeup and hair done from the concert still on. He was waiting patiently, arms in his back. Seunghyun opened the door and let Seungri enter his place.

\- Seungri! What are you doing here?

\- I am glad I could make it before midnight. I took the train just after I took off the stage. I run to the platform right on time.

\- But why?

\- Because it’s sad to celebrate our group anniversary alone. After reading your letter…I couldn’t let you be by yourself on this day and I was not happy too, to be far like this. So, for the few minutes left, let’s celebrate together. Did you do something special?

\- Not really…I took my only usual glass of wine for dinner.

\- What about the dessert?

\- Dessert? I eat a Hershey ice cream. Why?

\- Because I still have some cupcakes left from Busan. Do you have candles?

Seungri surprised him with a white box in hand. Seunghyun took the box and gladly headed to his kitchen, not minding opening the lights in the room. Seunghyun took out is lighter in his pocket and lit up two cupcakes and both blow on it at exactly 11.59pm.

\- Happy Anniversary Bigbang!

\- Happy 12 years! And more years to come!

The clock turned to midnight and both enjoyed eating a late snack.

\- Seungri-ah. Welcome back to Seoul…and thank you.

\- Heyyy…don’t thank me. But I am glad to be in Seoul. I will be able to sleep in my bed tonight. It was a long weekend…still have some works to do here and in Japan before the next concerts in Fukuoka, but I have some time for me, like tomorrow and the next weekend…and it will be our weekend.

\- Let’s do something easy, so you can take it easy and finally breathe. A movie or binge watching a series on Netflix?

\- A kind of ‘’Netflix and chill’’?

\- Let’s add the famous ‘’Do you want to eat ramen at my place’’?

Seunghyun trying to look seductively by wiggling his eyebrows. Seungri laughed while discarding the white box in the recycling bin.

\- If someone heard us, they will think we are meeting each other to do naughty things. But I agree with Netflix, the chill part in PJs, eating ramyun cups…in your bed?

\- Deal.

\- I should call a private taxi. It’s late, you are working tomorrow, and I have a bed I can’t wait to embrace. Fuck the shower, I will wash the sheets full of makeup and hairspray instead, after I woke up from a really long sleep.

\- While you text and wait for you taxi, take off at least the makeup. I will go grab some wet wipes for you.

Seunghyun walked to his bathroom and took his packet of wipes and returned to his kitchen, where Seungri was leaning on the centre counter, phone in hands, having his phone as only light in the room. Seungri had a concern look on his face and was typing quickly on his cell.

\- Something wrong?

\- Seems there’s trouble with an employee at one of my restaurants. Another employee is suspecting the other from thief. The cash doesn’t balance at the end of the day and it’s not the first time it’s happening, seems it happens when that employee is working. Maybe I should go there before going home.

\- Lee Seunghyun?

\- Hm?

Seungri stopped typing and looked up at Seunghyun.

\- Do that tomorrow…it’s past midnight. You just came back from Busan by train, after a concert and running to my place for a quick celebration. You should head home and sleep. Don’t want you to come back home at dawn because you stayed at Aori, counting money and watching all saved videos from the CCTV. You need to rest. And please, don’t think about it the moment your head is on your pillow. Turn off your brain.

\- Hmm…okay…I will listen to my Hyung.

\- Thank you.

\- Shit! I took my messages first instead of calling my taxi.

\- Call it and I will clean you.

Seungri typed in the app and asked for a taxi, near Seunghyun’s place, not giving the exact address. The application messaged him it will take twenty minutes. Seunghyun have already begun taking off Seungri’s makeup, making sure to take off the most of it. Seunghyun tilted Seungri’s head a little and wiped off the foundation on his jawline. That jawline that he kissed till he finds the Maknae’s lips…Seunghyun gulped nervously after reminiscing that memory. And he discovered he was not alone after his eyes met Seungri’s. Both were looking into each other, a little awkwardly. But they didn’t feel like giving space to each other. There was somewhat a tension in the air but couldn’t tell exactly what it was. Seunghyun disposed of the wipes on his counter and smiled at Seungri.

\- Thank you, Seunghyun-ah, to have come. It’s really appreciated. 

Seunghyun slowly comes forward and embrace Seungri into a tight hug. Seungri was resting his face on Seunghyun’s shoulder. He could smell the fragrance of his cologne mixed with cigarettes…even if Seungri hates smokes, he does enjoy the smell of his Hyung…it’s so masculine…Seungri closed his eyes and enjoyed that masculinity…just for a little guilty moment. Seunghyun traveled his hands on the lower back of Seungri, he could feel the younger man’s hair brushing against his ear. Seungri breathed hard against the older man by the feelings of the hands of the rapper on his back. Seunghyun closed his eyes when he felt Seungri clenching his hands on his dark green silk blouse, on the back of his shoulders. That same electric sensation he felt on their drinking making out night went through all his body again. This time, there was no alcohol involved. That attraction on the Maknae was real and really came from him and not the alcohol. Seunghyun was now knowing this. Both slowly detached themselves, skin and nose almost brushing together. Their eyes met for a few seconds, even in the darkness they were in, they could see a glow reflecting. Seungri is the first one to make the move, he put his lips against Seunghyun’s ones, trying to know what kind of reaction the rapper will have. Seunghyun didn’t feel surprised by it, he replicates quickly by leading the kiss. It was slow, almost in a sensual way, a soft kiss, trying to know if it the sensation is mutual. Eyes closed, they cling onto their bodies and Seunghyun shifted their position, making Seungri’s back leaning on the counter. The older man could feel Seungri being aroused by their kiss by feeling the young man’s groin twitching against his thigh. Seunghyun felt a warm sensation going through his blood and the curiosity for more was filling his head. Seunghyun bucked his hip to make their pelvic area touched each other. Seungri breathed through his nose in response. Seunghyun made small circular movements with his hips and Seungri muffled a moan inside the rapper’s mouth. Their kiss intensified, now playing with their tongues, Seungri slowly leaning backwards, letting the older man leading. Seunghyun was feeling good in this new position with a man, he was getting more into it. His muscles in his lower belly was creating a warm pool of woken hormones. The moment he felt Seungri spreading a little his legs and grunting a moan in his throat, Seunghyun felt a shock…he was erecting. He was completely aroused, turn on by Seungri. The younger man broke their kiss to look up at Seunghyun, the rapper could see surprise and bliss in the Maknae’s eyes.

\- Hyung?...

\- Don’t say anything…not now.

Seunghyun kept rubbing their clothed erections together and Seungri closed his eyes, his swollen lips by their long kiss, partially parted to let out breathing mixed with quiet moans. It’s an image of the younger man he never saw, and it was wonderful to witness. Seungri was glowing completely in sensuality. For both, it was new, to see each other like this in an erotic moment. Seunghyun kissed Seungri’s jawline, heading slowly to his ear, and parted his lips to softly bite the lobule. Seungri let out a sensual whimper and clenched more his hands on TOP’s blouse.

\- Hyung…please…stop…

\- Why?

\- Let’s not go to the end of this situation…we better stop. We shouldn’t let ourselves go like this…

Seunghyun stopped all movements and detached their bodies. Seungri was about to say something when his phone made a vibration and a notice appeared on the screen.

\- My taxi arrived. I must go.

Seungri took his cellphone and headed to the entrance to put his shoes. Seunghyun followed him and stand against the wall watching him.

\- We will see each other soon…for our sleepover.

Seungri looked at him blankly.

\- Huh…yeah…

\- Seungri-ah?

\- Hm?

\- Hum…let’s talk soon.

\- Y-yeah…sure. I will text you first when I’m free. I am going now. See ya…

\- Good night.

\- You too.

A little smile appeared on the corner of Seungri’s mouth and he left the rapper’s house. Seunghyun closed his eyes and exhale. Never in his life, he thought he will be in this kind of situation. Him and Seungri shared many times a shower or a bed since their debut and it never crossed his mind, to look, to touch or even think about doing something intimate with him, or the others.  
Seunghyun didn’t slept much during the night because he was always thinking about what happened few hours ago. He got up, washed his face and dressed up for his work. He quickly went to the kitchen to start the coffee machine and stopped exactly on the spot where he was with Seungri. All the images come up to his mind and…just the thought about it, got his temperature higher. And could feel his crotch slowly waking up…He didn’t knew what to do. It was all new for him. But he knew one thing for sure.  
Desire.  
He wanted to feel Seungri again, against him, letting out grunts. He wanted Seungri’s hands clinging onto him and offer himself freely. The curiosity grew way bigger than he expected. He was now wishing to be physically intimate with the younger man. He wanted to know how it feels to be with a man and discover new things. Seunghyun just didn’t knew how Seungri was feeling about what happened. They just finally accepted to be no more awkward. He was scared that now, they took a step back instead in their relation. Again, a serious discussion was needed between them.


End file.
